Sadly Uneventful Election Day

Good evening once again.
How are you?
I am fine. Thanks for asking.

First of all, thanks for the comments, they make me happy. Last week’s comments were excellent, I’ve responded to them if you care to see.

This blog entry should be FUN.

Last Monday was election day here. That seems like an eternity ago, let me try to remember what happened…ok. Instead of hearing from me, I will give you a (slightly) edited version of my roommate/co-volunteer/friend Pat’s report. I have pasted that report at the end of this blog entry, it is accurate and quite funny (cause it’s true). Pat had the wonderful idea to write an hourly report on election day. You have to understand, we DID NOTHING on election day, because EVERYTHING was closed. Stay tuned…

What else happened this week?
I helped people, people helped me, I got sick, I played tennis, I listened to music, I read books, I ate eggs and potatoes and fish, and I saw a movie (“Troy”-pretty good, but the most interesting aspect was the movie theater itself, which I will have to discuss another time).

Playing tennis is my favorite stress relief, even though I get destroyed EVERYTIME I play (Today, for example, I lost 6-0, 6-0, 3-0, the extra three games were played because I was disposed of before either of us broke a sweat. The #3 ranked Cameroonian, is VERY GOOD. I am getting very good too, just not THAT GOOD….yet) Normally GETTING DESTROYED at any sport would not relieve any stress because I hate to lose, but I have learned how to lose here, and I am getting better at tennis, so its ALL good. I will now list some of the Other forms of stress RELIEF employed in times of stress and other Peace Corps related EMOTIONAL conditions:

1) Running. Either for exercise or to escape from my problems. I run away from many things. Any form of exercise is nice, it helps to clear the mind. It’s also fun to see how many people you can surprise in one day. There is nothing more surprising than a white man running down the street, NOTHING like it. You should see. I actually tripped and fell once. The people didn’t laugh. They were more surprised that I was a white man running, falling down is just details.

2) Chopping vegetables. Especially onions. Sometimes I like to cry, onions help me get started. It hurts, it really does. If the onions make me cry too much, I get revenge by FRYING the little bastards with my eggs and potatoes.

3) Listening to music. Thursday was a wonderful day because I found a charger for my CD Player. I happened to be on my last pair of AA batteries, needless to say I was worried. The charger is functioning well. Music is playing as we speak (write). Track 11 of the “Black Star” CD. The song is called “Respiration,” it is my favorite on the CD.

4) Reading. I’ll say this again: Reading is an adventure, man, it is AMAZING. Even though I have hit a couple of CRAPPY books lately. I still want to struggle through them because it gives me a sense of accomplishment. I like to finish what I start. I would tell you about these books, but they are not worthy of any MENTION. ok, here is one review:

“This book is a complete waste of time, but I had nothing else to do.”
Allen Banick, reader of Crappy books since last week.


5) Internet. I love reading emails, writing emails, checking out ESPN.com, following all the wonderful sports I miss so dearly. GO RED SOX, too bad they’re down 3-0 as we speak, ouch. Speaking of emails, I contacted my best friend from WAY back in the day (When you have a lot of time to think and ponder, you begin to REMEMBER things). His name is Gabe (hey buddy!) we went to elementary school in L.A. together, and we went on many camping trips in the Mojave Desert, sadly we lost touch when I moved to France. Gabe is doing very well, which is great.

6) Writing, perhaps the best stress relief of all. I love writing this blog, I love writing in my journal.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not ALWAYS stressed or in some sort of mental pain. I’m generally pretty happy no matter what’s going on. I will admit this: I spend, on average, 2 days per week NOT wanting to be here. That means that 5 times out of 7 I am satisfied with my situation. Most Peace Corps Volunteers experience these same mood swings, so don’t be alarmed. If I ever reach a point of spending more than 50% of the week wanting to be somewhere else, I’ll consider taking action. I think about this quite often. I also think back in time and I realize:
No matter where I’ve been in the world, no matter what I’ve been doing, there has ALWAYS been this “2 days per week wanting to be somewhere else” feeling. I bet most of us feel that. Most Cameroonians want to be in the States. I know many Americans that want to be in Canada, Spain, or Mars. I am learning another lesson: how to enjoy the NOW, the PRESENT PLACE, the CURRENT SITUATION, and the people IN FRONT OF ME. No place is perfect, but I have the power to make it better, by ENJOYING it (at least those aspects that are enjoyable). This is not an easy concept to grasp, but I am getting PLENTY of practice.

I realized something today at 12:25 when I was thinking about this blog. I realized I never really write about DEVELOPMENT, which happens to be my (official) reason for being here. Before I arrived in Cameroon, I didn’t really think much about it. I knew it was important. We should help the poor, disadvantaged of the world, because we humans are all roommates sharing the same house, called Earth. I never stopped to think about, HOW we should help develop, or WHAT people really need. Should the whole world be like the USA? No, if the whole world were like the USA it would be boring (what would be the point of traveling if every place/person were the same?), and I believe natural resources would be depleted pretty quickly (consumption has gone SLIGHTLY TOO FAR). There are aspects of the USA that SHOULD be universal, such as BASEBALL, freedom of speech, food for everyone, clean water, adequate health care, and OPPORTUNITY. But there are things that people don’t need (in my opinion). I won’t list those things, because there is no need for them.

I am still developing my own opinions on the matter of development, and I will try to include them in future blog entries. Here is one problem to ponder:
In Cameroon you cannot get clean water out of the faucet. It is often contaminated and it is the source of ALL SORTS of illness, especially for young children. YET, you can have a COKE (imported), and 10 different types of (imported) beer practically ANYWHERE, bars are BIG business (BARS are almost EVERY business). I am troubled by this problem. Many (if not most) people here can’t afford coke, or beer, so they drink dirty water, or they drink beer, which they can’t afford. I don’t really know who I should point my finger at, if anyone, or what should be done. I can’t POINT at GLOBALIZATION because that is a concept/trend as opposed to a PERSON. The people here choose to drink beer and coke, and most of them can boil water, which decontaminates it. Still, something isn’t right. That is why I presented this as a problem to PONDER. If you would like to comment on the issue, please do, I like COMMENTS and new ideas. It’s not an easy issue, if it were, there would be no Peace Corps. How do you feel? This is frequently a topic for discussion between volunteers who don’t spend their time spreading useless gossip about OTHER volunteers (see last blog entry).


Time for the NEWS report from Pat (which he wrote in his journal and emailed to his friends and was kind enough to let me share), this definitely beats CNN. This may be the ONLY international report ever released regarding the Presidential Elections in Cameroon. Pat is brave…

….all times were kept by the clock on my (cell!!!) phone…for those of you that are paying attention, you will see why this info is important…
Election Monday 11/10/04 (that is October 11th, we are using international conventions, not everything revolves around the u.s.)
and we’re live folks, welcome to election monday in Cameroon…. who knows what will happen?… truly anything can happen….most likely nothing will happen.
8:18am
all is relatively quiet on the western front (or eastern or southern, I don’t know which direction my balcony faces - I’m not a damn compass! let’s see, the sun is to my left, so I must be looking south. yea, let’s call it all quiet on the southern front. and for that matter, as far as I can tell, east and west seem ok too. I can’t see the northern front, I sure hope all hell isn’t breaking loose up there)….
ways to tell that today is a very different day:
1. bucket man is not working (sorry, you would have to read another journal entry to really understand the bucket man comment - there will be pictures of him soon, I hope, because you have to see this to believe it)
2. car/truck/anything you can possibly want washed wash place is not open
3. no other business in view is open
4. I have not seen one person selling things off of their head in the (at least) ten minutes I have been out here
5. foot traffic is way down
6. truck traffic is nonexistent (so this is what fresh air smells like)
7. taxi traffic is nonexistent
8:32am
time to go for a little walk to see what’s what

9:12am
return
more ways to tell that today is a very different day:
8. one can hear birds chirping, at least intermittently
9. all of the marches (markets) are closed, which is e-e-r-i-e
10. no one is yelling ‘le blanc’ or ‘nsada’ (a local, patoisish word for whitey)
11. no one is going to foumban or foumbot or anywhere else for that matter (unfortunately another reference to another part of the journal)
I saw 4 roving vendors (as opposed to literally hundreds on a normal day) and 1 bakery cart (as opposed to tens)…. The only thing open is the gas station. Actually, all of the gas stations are open. (does oil rule the world?)…. sweet home, my favorite restaurant, is also closed, so this reporter is off to make his own three-egg omelette.
10:32am
omelette was delicious - onions, celery, green pepper, garlic and, of course, the ubiquitous maggi cube (solidified, delicious msg)
- home fries were a little too fried because I have the attention span of a gnat - but there was enough oil, salt & pepper to cover up my slip
no new news, all still calm
over and out

11:49am (really????)
and we’re back
and we’re bored as sh#t

jeanah just texted me; she wants to know what an interlocuter (sic) is…like I have time for that, I am in the middle of an election here….not to mention a possible evacuation…ok, so I do have the time, truth be known… so I wrote her back with my made-up definition (which was correct)… man alive, ‘watching’ an election sans (without) tv is boring…this is almost inhumane….

jeanah texted me back in response to my question of what was transpiring au village (in the village)…I received the response at 11:44am…. i am a little more than concerned…. because I feel as if we might be going back in time….that’s all I need right now….anyway, here is the response (exactly as it appears on my teeny-tiny phone):
(journalistic integrity is very important at times such as these):

It’s like a ghost
town
outside(… )

thank you jeanah for that report from the field…next time, please don’t include any of those little symbols…frankly, I can’t stand them; they aren’t professional and I have no idea what the hell any of them mean….
I currently have 384F cfa credit left on my phone….that is really going to inhibit obtaining more reports from the field…stupid lack of planning….
ok-at least we have something to look forward to -

1:43pm (really 13:43)
the day continues to crawl at a snail’s pace
we just heard the end of a report on RFI (radio france international)…
ahhhh, the frogs….translation from allen:
- election off to a slow start (no freaking kidding)
- rdpc (main party) and sdf (main opposition party) both have strong representation at the polls
- polls close at six (really 18:00)

action is allowed to start at any time, I am waiting
ciao

2:07pm
allen parts (franglais) the maison (house/home) to play tennis
files report over text message at 2:24 pm (even though my phone says it is only 2:17; I am now ridiculously concerned about the space-time continuum)…the report says:
Live in
Bafoussam…it is
so f*&%ing eerie
out here.

thank you allen for the fine report….had to clean it up a bit because this is a family publication…
I am going for a run now… (2:20pm)
a riverderci

3:32pm
back home and showered…ran past the commissariat; many, many officers were standing outside….on the ground in front of the building were approximately 25 shields with helmets on top of them…giddy up…now we’re talking…

4:03pm
allen returns from playing tennis…he explains to me that he has just been harangued (my word, not his) by an undercover policeman for taking pictures….he simply wanted to capture the empty streets, which will most likely never be this empty again in our stay here…the policeman accused him of taking pictures of people without their permission…that is a serious offense here (no kidding)…allen was able to escape this time, undoubtedly thanks to his frenchy mcfrench perfect French….the noose seems to be tightening at our headquarters…we could be heading underground, no telling when the next report will be filed…if we are never heard from again, tell the world our story….
sayanora

4:35pm
we learn that Christopher reeve has died…
and also that 155 of 200 registered voters in bengui have voted….
activity on the street is picking up, but as of now there is no indication of a riot in the making…allen says, “it is only a matter of time. something doesn’t feel right.” on verra, young alain, on verra. we shall see

6:15pm
tension is rising…allen is pacing and surreptitiously glancing out the window to the street below…the polls are closed…

7:57pm
darkness has thus far been our friend….not a creature seems to be stirring…the frogs tell us (in french again) that we will have more (or any) information at 11pm…

10:42pm
there is calm…there will be no news at 11…surprise…fatigue has set in during this long day of nothingness…time to call it quits…


THANK YOU, Pat, for that fine report. I did have to edit some information that some people may find detrimental to our image here in Cameroon. But you got the gist of it: NOTHING HAPPENED. No evacuation, no action, no complaining, the election is over, life goes on. Nothing more can be said. And by the way, I WAS stopped by a Police officer for taking photos of the eerie, quietness of Bafoussam. I don’t blame him for stopping me and questioning me. What would you do? Picture a DESERTED African city…deserted except for a tall, goofy white guy with a tennis racket in his backpack, taking pictures of a ditch. Sounds suspicious, huh? Well I was just trying to capture the essence of Dirty Bafoussam, and nothing shows it better than a Ditch full of sewage and trash. (The pictures are coming, this week). I don’t know why the undercover officer accused me of taking pictures of “people” without their permission. There were no people in sight. Wait till you see the pictures, just wait.

That’s All for Tonight,
As always the pleasure is mine.
Bonne Nuit