Adventures in a Far Away Land

I went to FOUMBAN today.

You ask “What is FOUMBAN? And who cares if you went there?” “Well,” I say, “FOUMBAN is a place, 50 miles north of Bafoussam. And I’ll tell you why my going there is a big deal, just relax, OK?”

Yeah folks, I went to FOUMBAN. Let it be known that on November 15th, 2004, I went to FOUMBAN. I’ll tell you about this fascinating destination in a moment. But I want to give you a little background information first.

The day started like any other Monday in Bafoussam. I woke up. I ate some eggs. I drank some coffee. I listened to the radio. At about 8:00 am, Pat and I left the apartment for our 7:30 meeting which usually starts at 9:00. So, as usual, we left a half an hour late for our meeting, which would get us to work 45 minutes early for that same meeting. We are such overachievers, always a half an hour late for meetings that start an hour and a half late. Cameroon.

And, like 3 out of 4 Mondays per month, this particular weekly meeting never happened. Our “counterparts” didn’t show up, as usual, and we sat around. I distracted myself for about an hour with a funny book. At about 9:30 we decided to leave. On our way out, the secretary said that they probably wouldn’t show up today. THANKS for the info.

With nothing else to do, I went to the internet café, a typical Monday morning destination. After that, since I still had nothing else to do, I went to “Sweet Home,” my favorite little neighborhood restaurant. At Sweet Home, they never serve what’s on the menu, but there is always something to eat. Pat and I are regulars there. If we are too lazy to cook and don’t feel like taking our chances with street food, we go to Sweet Home. In the morning, you can eat omelets there, for lunch you can usually get rice, tomato sauce, lukewarm chicken, soggy green stuff, and if you’re lucky, white beans. In the evening, you’re lucky if you can get rice and tomato sauce. Sweet home is the ONLY restaurant that we know of in Bafoussam that consistently has food. In Cameroon, there are many places with signs that say “restaurant,” but nine times out of ten they don’t serve food. The signs are probably left over from a better era in Cameroon when they actually had tourists to fill the restaurants.

After eating my second breakfast (it’s always a good idea to have two breakfasts because you never know if you will be able to find lunch, unless you go to Sweet Home), I went home. On the 1.5-mile walk from Sweet Home to the apartment, you always pass by the “Foumban boys.” The Foumban boys are a group of men that harass people into going to Foumban. “Why would they do that?” you ask. Well, let me explain how travel works here, in Cameroon.

In Cameroon, you travel by “Bush Taxi.” I’ve explained what these Bush Taxis are in previous blog entries (dirty old beat up 15 passenger vans that are stuffed with 25 people). In large cities, such as Bafoussam, there are several “Gare Routieres” (literally, “Road Stations,”). These are departure places for the Bush Taxis. There are different Gare Routieres for different destinations. The Gare Routiere for Foumban and everything North of Bafoussam happens to be down the road from my apartment. At each Gare Routiere, there is a group of men (like the Foumban boys) who fight each other to win customers for the particular travel company they represent. These guys can get pretty aggressive, their competitive spirit often brings them to the brink of all out brawls. I have yet to see them fight, though. In Cameroon, people often seem like they are about to start throwing punches, but they don’t, and five minutes later they are laughing and buying each other beer. These men also like to GRAB your luggage right out of your hand. They fight each other to be the first to GRAB your luggage . I don’t particularly like this luggage grabbing business. On one particular journey to Yaounde, I was forced to bust out a Judo move I learned when I was 11. One of the luggage grabbers wouldn’t let go of my backpack, so I stuck my long leg out behind him, and tripped him, Judo style. He fell backwards onto the pavement and released my bag. Onlookers laughed. I turned away and took my bag to a company OTHER than the one represented by the rude baggage grabber looking up at me from the pavement. Anyway, back to the Foumban story…

So, on my way home from Sweet Home today, I passed the “Foumban Boys” who yell “FOUMBAN?!?! FOUMBAN?!?!” to everyone who happens to pass by. As I passed them, I thought to myself, “today would be a perfect day to give in to these people and go to FOUMBAN.” I figured, “why not see what all the commotion is about?” So the plan was to go home, read a little more out of my funny little book, and then head off to FOUMBAN at around noon. Theoretically, it only takes an hour to get to Foumban. Leaving at noon would have me there by 1:00 with plenty of time to see all the wonderful things the town has to offer.

I went home, read for a while, and then I fell asleep. I didn’t wake up till 12:50, which had me behind schedule already, but I didn’t really expect to leave at 12:00 anyway. At 1:00, I packed my backpack with:
A bottle of water
A funny little book
My CD player
A notebook to take notes about Foumban in.
And some cash to get to Foumban
I left the apartment with a great attitude. “How exciting,” I thought “I’m finally going to Foumban.” I was relieved to be getting out of the sewer of a city I live in to experience the unknown treasures of a faraway land.

I scurried down the street to locate my favorite of “the Foumban boys.” He is my favorite because he is one of the few that knows I live in Bafoussam and that I don’t want to go to Foumban (usually). On most days, instead of grabbing my arm to shove me in the next van headed to Foumban, he shakes my hand and gives me “the snap.” (The snap is the Cameroonian “you’re cool” handshake. It is a classic handshake followed by a snap of the opposing index fingers. Everyone does it. If you don’t know it, you’re not cool.) I figured I would go make my favorite of the Foumban boys happy today by actually going to Foumban for once (the Foumban boys get paid to find passengers). My friend didn’t seem as excited as I thought he would be. Instead of shoving me into the next van to Foumban, he dragged me down the street to a van that didn’t fill up for 2 hours.

2 hours later, I left for Foumban. I literally sat in a hot, sweaty, dirty, smelly van across the street from my apartment for two hours.

I was a little frustrated at this point. I know travel in Cameroon is difficult, but I figured this little trip to Foumban would be a walk in the park (pun intended). I mean, it seems like this whole city is going to Foumban judging from the amount of harassment we get on a daily basis from the Foumban boys. I guess I was wrong.

I arrived in Foumban at 4:00 pm. This is bad because I wanted to leave Foumban at 5:00 to be home before dark. It is unsafe to travel in Cameroon after dark. Actually, its unsafe to travel in Cameroon period, its especially unsafe after dark.
I had fantastic plans to visit the “Sultans Palace” (a supposedly, magnificent palace, home to the king or sultan of the “bamoun” people, the local tribe in the Foumban area). Unfortunately, it was too late for any such visit. I will see the Palace on my next visit. Instead of visiting the Sultans Palace, I visited one of the local “beverage stations.” They serve the same beverages they serve everywhere else in Cameroon, but for some reason they tasted better in Foumban. I also sampled some of the local “Soya.” Soya is Cameroonian bar-b-cued meat. It is usually quite good, but in Foumban it was AMAZING. Delicious, tender, strips of beef. Great qualiy and quantity. In Bafoussam, you get the quality, but the quantity is enough to feed a baby. Foumban has Soya, and plenty of it, mmmmmmm. After the Soya, I motioned for one of the children selling food to come over. This little kid was carrying “beignets” on his little head. “Beignets” are fried dough. Very greasy, unsweetened donuts, basically. Delicious. The little kid was happy to sell to me.

I must say, I was immediately fascinated by the beauty of Foumban. It is clean. It has pine trees. The people are friendly. The streets are paved. Just a great little town. The kind of place to settle down and raise your kids in, you know? I will have to come back to Foumban one day. I have to see that Palace.

I returned to Bafoussam with a full stomach and a tired body. It only took about an hour for the van to fill this time. I had to travel in the dark, but I survived. I am now here, back in my lovely apartment, writing this.

tomorrow is Tuesday. What kinds of adventures await me tomorrow? Will I venture towards another far away land? Will I play tennis? Will I WORK? Only time will tell. Peace Corps Cameroon is an unpredictable day-to-day adventure, full of surprises.